Sunday, November 27, 2011

NLA Social Network is Working [FR]

Scene: Saturday night.  Not wanting to go out, but looking because I did not go out the night before.  Called up a couple of BAS'ers, but they were with family/unavailable.  About 6pm I get two texts from two separate girls.

The first girl invited me to a concert for some band.  I googled the band and it was some death metal shit.  I was not interested.  The second girl invited me to some party.  "Jersey Shore" theme.  Said it starts at 9:30.  I waited an hour and a half and texted both girls back.  To the first I said, "Can't make it tonight."  To the second I said, "Sounds cool.  Where is it?"  She gave me the address and I got ready.

The FR  Party started at 9:30, so I planned on getting there about ten.  I got there at 10:30.  As soon as I get to the address, I see three girls standing outside.  So what do I do?  I talk to them, dummy!  I say, "Is this where the fistpumping happens?" (remember, Jersey Shore).  They laugh, so I talk some shit.  There's a girl standing in my way, so I make a big deal like she's in my way to her friends.  Eventually, they get her to move and I go in.

The Party  I enter and it's a tiny house party (studio apartment).  Turns out its some guy's birthday.  I see the girl who invited me and she smiles, comes right up to me and says, "You came!"  I put my six-pack in the fridge (byob) and get to drinking.  It's a pretty nice party.  The venue is small, but there are a bunch of cute girls.  My invitor introduces me to people, so I am not wont for conversation.  I don't stick to the chick who invited me and instead spread my love around.  I talk to everyone at the party at some point (~25 people).  A twoset of hotties come in so I open them.  Nothing stuck, but I gave them shit the whole night (e.g., "You guys are the life of the party!  Came in and sat down right away.  You guys need to chill it out.").

It becomes a blur at this point.  People are in and out, but I establish myself as alpha.  Some guy is drunk as shit and tries starting shit with me, but I defuse him and befriend him.  I am talking to everyone and having a blast.  Some guy tries taking my beer, but I persuade him not to.  A twoset of hotties (another one) comes in, and I talk to them a lot.  One of the girls is super cute and I am pretty sure the other is a lesbian.  I facebook close them both.  God, I want the hot one, but she said she has a boyfriend.  The HB lesbian said they were lovers or some shit when I first opened them, but I was nonreactive and just plowed.

One of the girls I saw earlier in the night (one of the girls from outside that I first encountered) is leaving, so I engage her in conversation.  She's with her friend, so I talk to them both, but focus on the hottie.  Things are going swimmingly, so I say, "we should hang out some time."  This is my can't lose number close.  I wait for her to respond with, "yes."  Her friend interrupts and there's some chit-chat in between, but I stay persistent and she agrees.  I say, "Great!  Then you should give me your number."  I get my "new contact" screen up and hand her my phone.  She puts her shit in there and I call her.  She entered it wrong the first time, so we fix it.  She put in her first and last name without provocation (serious IOI).  I make some more chitchat and say goodbye.  I texted her the next morning and got a good response (basically, made fun of her last name).

As the party's winding down, it's clear that the girl who invited me wants to go home with me.  I don't fuck it up, act cool and take her home.  Yes players, it's a lay report.  Take her home the next morning and hit the gym.  I knew today would be a good day :)

Lastly, on my way to the party (forgot this), I got a text from a girl.  "What are you up to buddy, wanna drink?"  Lol, I LOVE social game.  Remember to talk to everyone and the situations will present themselves.  Be true to yourself, future players.

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Newbies Post, Some Lessons for Beginners

I don't know about your local lair, but in the bay area we have new guys constantly coming out with us and most are beginners. Usually these guys come out once or twice and are never heard from again. These men are not ready for a mansformation.

Before entering the community, you've got to look at yourself in the mirror and decide to make a change. You've got to say, "what I've been doing has not been working out. I'm ready to change." If you're not ready to embrace the ideas of this community, then you're not ready for seduction. It's that easy. Seduction is not going out on Friday nights and trying to talk to women, its becoming a better person. It's not for the weekend warriors, its for those men who are ready to change their lives.

Okay, so you're ready. You've decided to commit yourself and make some serious changes. Now's the hard part: you've got to do it.

Seduction is like any field of study. You can read all the theory you want and that's good, in practice. However, ask yourself the same thing every fifth grade student asks his math teacher: "How will this help me in life?

Fellas, you've got to get out there and sarge. There is simply no way to improve unless you start talking to women. Hell, talk to anyone. Talk to everyone. Get out of your house and live an interesting life. Get yourself a hobby (other than seduction) and commit to it. To bastardize a quote from Gandhi, be the change you want to see.

Now for the meat of this post. Some simple tips for those guys who are just starting out:

Your first 2000 sets are just practice. I'll repeat that. Your first 2000 sets are all just practice. You didn't think this would be easy, did you? There's a reason why we start with the 100 set challenge (/r/100sets). It's because 2000 is an intimidating number. And it is, if you think of it that way. However, it is just a means to the end. Anything you're really good at, think about how much time you've put into it. I'm sure it's well over 2000 hours. Well, seduction's the same way. You've got to put in your time.

Now, these sets don't have to be perfect. They don't even have to be awesome. Your first set can be walking up to a girl, saying "hi," and running away. Congrats! That's one set! What's important is to actually get to 2000 sets. And the sooner you get there, the better. Like all learned skills, your seduction skills will erode over time (any guy who got out of a long-term relationship before coming here will attest to that).

The second thing about framing your first 2000 sets as practice sets is that it prepares you for the actual time it takes to progress in this field. Seduction takes time. It's a learned skill. You've got a lifetime of bad habits to fix. You should not be expecting to move mountains within the first week or even month of doing this. However, you will be constantly improving. Which moves to the next step.

Be happy for every improvement. I've seen it. Some guys come out a couple of nights, don't get any numbers in their first couple of tries and quit. It's because their goals are too high. Look, everyone is different and everyone has their own pace. While one aPUA will go from AFC to k-close in a month, it may take another a year. What is important to focus on are the small improvements you make.

Let's say you have crippling social anxiety and to go out with people from your lair that first time and it was HELL just getting out of your house. That's step one. Then you met some people. That's step two. You didn't talk to anyone outside the lair that night, but you made some potential friends. Next time you go out, you open a fourset of dudes. You're talking to them the whole night. That's your next step. Next time you go out, you open a fat girl sitting at the end of the bar. Congratulations, you are improving!

Along the way, there are many things you can be happy about and if you look, you'll see many areas in which you are improving. As you improve, remember two things. 1) as Han said to Luke, "Don't get cocky, kid!" You've still got a ways to go. 2) At the same time, rejoice in the small steps you take on a way to becoming a better man. Oftentimes, it is the journey that we look back on with most fondness.

Have the proper frame when you start going out Let's say you've got no wings and that your area has no lair. You start going out alone. You talk to ALL the women. You don't do great. You are not sticking in your sets. You are not reaching your goals. May I suggest this frame: "I'm just going out to make new friends." Those eight words, if you believe them, will get you sticking to more sets than you have time for. One of my favorite openers, and please feel free to use it, is to walk over to a group of girls and say, "Hey! You girls look really cool, so I just had to come over here and talk to you." Forget about negs for a minute, forget about routines, forget about everything Mystery taught you. Just walk into a set and open. Talk to them (not at them). Turn the fourset into a five (or two into a three, etc.). Remember, your first 2000 sets are all practice, so if you forget your DiCarlo kino escalation ladder, it's fine. You're in set. Be happy, because you are improving!

Don't sweat it. The dirty secrets of the seduction world are as follows: 1) it takes a long time to become a PUA. 2) You actually have to gasp work at it. So, Get out there and sarge!

Finally, keep a journal. Keep notes on your progress day-to-day. What you've learned, things you can improve on, who you met, what's been working for you, etc. A month down the road, you'll be eternally grateful when you look back and see the progress you've made.

Guys, I want you to get better. I want good wings. I am sick of going into the field, opening a set, and having three guys lurk around the edges as I talk to a twoset of girls. Do it for yourself, do it for me, do it for the girl who's waiting for the perfect man. Get out there and become a social person. Learn how to talk to people. Make friends. Just sarge.

Monday, November 21, 2011

[LR] 11/17/11

Posting this up a bit late.  Went out with snarkymcchoad from the boards.  It was our first time hanging out and was a blast.  Pre-gamed it at a bar with cheap drinks and there were SF cheerleaders there.  Opened the cheerleaders, waited for McChoad, got into a set, then saw McChoad.  Ejected from my set.  Saw them later in the night and said, "what're you guys, following me around?!"  One thing I notice when I use this line is girls try to reframe it ("no, you're following US!").  Just an observation.

Hit next spot.  Standing at the bar when some girl walks in and looks at me.  I look at her.  She looks familiar.  She comes over and opens me.  Apparently I was dancing with her one night at a different bar.  She says, "I should've gotten your number."  I say, "well we should fix that right now."  We exchange numbers (wherein she puts in her full name, unprompted).  She ends up clinging to me the whole night.  A couple of times I move in to k-close, but she backs away, so I do too.  Hit up the next spot and she follows.

The next spot is more of a club atmosphere.  9s and 10s all around just giving me AA like you read about.  I lose my hanger-on.  I start talking to this one girl.  We're kissing within ten minutes.  It's not something I was necessarily looking for, but she kept leaning into me.  (This happens to me once a week, where there's a girl I'm not really all that interested in kissing who really wants to get some.  I guess there's something to be said for being prepared/right place, right time.)  So I say "fuck it" and go for the makeout.  I pull out first.  I tell her "I have to go find my friend, but let me get your number so we can hang out later."  She says ok.

Go with Snarky to the dance floor.  We work on our dance game.  I try opening a few sets, but to no avail.  There's a real attractive HB Black girl whom I try dancing with, but it doesn't go spectacularly.  I try to open her by opening her (male) friend who is dancing and use him as an excuse to get into their dance circle.  Doesn't really go that well.  Eventually, McChoad and I decide to call it a night.

Walking home I text my hanger-on ("what happened to you") and the girl I just met ("Hey, it's NLA.  Don't makeout with any more guys tonight.").  My phone burps and I restart it.  When it comes back on, there are two messages from new girl.  Something to the effect of "let's meetup?"  I text back, "heading home.  Where are you?"  At this point, I should point out that the only game you should be running when you get a text like that is logistics.  Your job is to not fuck up.  Find out where she is, clean up the house a bit, and head to the address she gave me (some sorority house).  By this point its pushing 3 a.m. on a Thursday night.  I pick her up and she wants me to give her (hot) friend a ride home.  I give shit then comply.  Her friend is grilling me on the way.  I'm like "what's with the twenty questions?"  She says, "you're about to fuck my friend, I want to know about you."  lol, ok.  We get to the friend's house, which is also the girl's house.  She beckons me in.  I oblige.  These chicks come from rich families, but w/e.  The friend pushes us into the girl's bedroom and she jumps on me.  That's all you get.

Something I should've done is pulled the hot friend in for a threesome.  She was saying how she is going to miss sleeping with her (name of new girl).  These girls were ready for it.  Alas, this is something to work on in the future.

Another thing I really have got to work on is my 10 game.  I know it shouldn't feel different talking to tens, but it does.

Finally, Snarky, good hanging with you man.  We'll definitely be doing it again soon.

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

On Giving Value

Giving value is a completely selfless act. We do it to make others feel better about themselves. When you are giving value, you are seeking nothing in return and giving everything. It is this act of selflessness which resonates with others. We, as humans, are constantly thinking of our selves and have a tendency to act selfishly. Yet when we give value to others, we do so for no purpose other than to make those around us feel better.

Perhaps the argument can be made that by making others around us feel better, we make the world a better place for ourselves (and better equip ourselves to be surrounded by high value people) – a selfish act under the surface. However, the goal of making a better life helps not only ourselves, but those in our immediate vicinity. By feeling better, we are better equipped to help those around us feel better when interacting with us. By making our lives as socially comfortable as possible, we open others up to our world and allow them to feel better about themselves.

It is only after we feel good about ourselves that we can make others feel better. Therefore, a central precept of value-giving is making our lives better along the way. You can say you want to give value, but it is a worthless endeavor if you do not represent value in yourself. If a valueless person gives value to another, what has he given? What does he have to give? You cannot give something that you yourself don’t have.

Therefore, in order to give better value to others, we should constantly be seeking to make our own lives more valuable. This is a lesson not only for pickup, but for every aspect of our lives. If we make efforts every day to make our lives more attractive to not only others, but ourselves, we will have remarkable value reserves that we can then share with others. Some things to do to increase your own value include: dressing better, taking care of your body by working out and eating right, becoming financially stable, having a strong sense of self-worth, being self-amused, and having a strong social circle. When all these things come together, we are in a better place to make others feel better about themselves. When this happens, people will want to be close with you.

If you need an end result for giving value, it is this: by giving value you make it so that others will want to be with you. You give good feelings and others will want those good feelings to continue. The best way to do that is to spend more time with you. You give freely of your time to others, thus giving more value. They value you more highly and are more likely to do things to help you. This in turn gives your life more valuable and better equips you to have high value in the future. By giving value, we set ourselves up to receive value. If done right, it is a never-ending chain of you giving value (expecting nothing in return) and receiving value back, which you then reinvest in others. Once set in motion, this force is not easily stopped and you will be taken care of for a long time to come, value-wise. So give value freely, expect nothing in return, and reap the rewards that come with it.

Monday, November 14, 2011

11/11/11 - Day 2

Logistics This day two was arranged after my Halloween pickup and k-close that can be found within this blog.  We had originally planned to meetup that Sunday, but she claimed a hangover, so we did not meet.  We agreed to meet the following Sunday to attend a museum.  However, that fell through as well and plans were made for the Friday above.  I arranged a guest-list pass for a show and had her pick a bar for us to meet.  She arrived early and I was running late.

First Location - I arrived and hit the can right away (long drive).  I found her and said, "do you remember me?"  She said, "nope."  I was working uphill.  I offered to buy her a drink because I was late.  I returned with the drink and we talked about a plethora of topics ranging from where we grew up (two towns apart from each other as it turns out), to what we do, to philosophizing on various subjects.  We had two drinks at this location before moving on to the spot I had planned.

Second Location - However, upon arrival at the place, the line was terribly long.  I suggested we have a drink at the bar across the way.  She complied.

Third Location - We get in and order up a couple of Guiness.  I think at one point I use my patented "sorry, I wasn't listening to you.  I was staring at your legs" (she was wearing a short-short skirt and had on tights.  Her legs looked good).  It fell flat.  This was going nowhere fast and every time I attempted kino, she was slightly put-off.  Eventually she goes to the bathroom.  When she comes back she says, "this isn't going to work."  I say, "huh?"  She says, "well, what do you think?  Do you think this is working?  I don't like waiting in lines."  I have no idea what this is so I go, "whoa, whoa, whoa.  What did you think was going on here?  We're just two people having drinks.  Nothing else."  She seems satisfied with this and is intimating that she wants to go.  I tell her, "Well, seeing as how I bought the last round of drinks, as far as I see it, you owe me a drink."  Lol, she says, "you're right, I'll get you one."  She orders it.  I say, "you can have one too."  She orders two.

The Bounce  We sit there drinking these beers, and honestly I feel a weight lifted off my shoulders.  I wasn't interesting in this girl that much anyway, and now that we're just hanging out, I feel downright giddy.  So, we're talking and I am still initiating kino (which she is not totally compliant with).  I send out a couple of texts and arrange to meetup with some other PUAs at other locations.  I tell her where I am going and she says "oh, I like that bar."  I tell her she can come too.  She's non-commital but walks out with me.  She says she's going to stop at a hotel and get a cab.  I tell her it's fine and that I have to get my car.  She starts walking with me and we walk for two or three blocks together.  I have no idea what's going on.  Eventually, we get to a corner and she says, "here's a cab."  I tell her, "you should take it," and keep walking.  She stops and says, "okay, I'm taking this cab...."  Without turning around, I say "see ya."

lol, ok, so I was kind of a dick towards the end but I was honestly sick of her shit.  She was playing games with me and I was not having it.  At one point she let slip that she is currently living with her ex-boyfriend, does not bring people home, and has no plans of moving out.  Dealbreaker as far as I'm concerned.

I think if I pushed the matter I could have gotten her to hang out more, but again, I was sick of this chick.  The girl I made out with on Halloween was cute, loose (I mean body-language-wise, not morally), care-free and interesting.  This girl was snobbish, a braggart and aloof.  Maybe if I had gotten her more drunk it would have been better, but I could see there was no future there (which may have been what turned her off in the first place).

Later on I met up with a guy from the community and had a great time picking up this other chick.  So the night wasn't a total waste.

Friday, November 11, 2011

11/10/11 Day 2

The FR that led to this day 2 is here.  In between there was some texting.  She texted me the next day saying "totally forgot, but I have class until 9p on Thursday."  I tell her to get her homework done early so we can go out after.  She agrees, but on Thursday tries to flake, saying she has to work early Friday and asks if we can go out Sunday.  I tell her "mebbe, but Sunday's no good."  She replies back something, I call her naughty, she tells me it's on for tonight.  Some logistical texts follow, and I tell her to meet me at a club at 10:30.  Throughout the night she's asking me what to wear, where the place is, etc.  Frankly, I thought she was a little crazy, but w/e.

Get there at 10:30 and order a drink.  Wait around.  She texts me, says she's there.  I tell her where I am.  She comes back and we hug.  I tell her she looks good.  I tell her to get a drink.  We talk at the bar for a while.  She's a close talker and pulls me in when she says something.  It makes kino very easy.  She is very sensual and it turns me on in a big way.  I tell her.  I also make sure to push-pull, ramp attraction, and generally be a PUA (in control of the situation, leading frame, etc.).  For those of you guys wondering, I made her get her own drinks, but ended up buying her one towards the end of the night (after the k-close I think).

My biggest mistake of the night was not going in for the kiss close early.  It took me a good hour before I just said "fuck it" and went in there.  I really need to work on having balls and going in for the kiss close.

One of the funniest moments of the night was when I went to the bathroom and came back to find her talking to a guy.  "He says he's a motivational speaker!" she says.  I look the guy in the eyes.  "that's great," I say.  I smile.  She's asking him questions, but I can tell he's getting uncomfortable.  I just give him value and say, "awesome," whenever he says something.  Then, when I'm finished, I open my gal and close off my body language.  He gets the picture and ditches.  I think he was a community guy, so if you were at Myth last night, let me know.

Anyway, we head out to a divey type bar.  Then we get something to eat.  Then we're in her car and I have her drive to my place (where I have a garden-type area in the back).  I take her back there.  We're both tired at this point (excuses, I know), so nothing really happens.  We just sit back there and chill a bit.  Then I have her drive me back to my car.  I get out.  She says, "you know, I won't bite," so I go back in and kiss her a bit.  Then I get in my car and drive away.

Later that night I texted her, "we should do that again sometime, but with more sex ;)"  No response.  heh, we shall see.

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Gaming is Not Just About Women

Something to remember is that pickup is not just about picking up women.  It is about improving lives.  If we were all high quality men, we would be surrounded by women and have our pick.  Sure, there is something to be said for knowing the basics of how to talk to a girl, but beyond that it is simply living an exciting, social life.

A lot of the principles we learn on the road to PUA come in handy down the line.  Giving value to others will make you a popular person with many friends.  Being a man of your word will earn you the respect of others.  Making your body more attractive via the gym will make you feel better and give you more energy.  Living an exciting life is its own reward.

We should remember things we can do every day to keep us in "state."  By "state," I mean that feeling you have when you are on top of the world.  Feeling accomplished.  Below is a list of a few things that, for me, keep me well-rounded and happy.  If I miss one of these, I end up feeling worse.  They are things I do every day that make me feel good about myself.  You should have your own.

  1. Do something active (like working out)
  2. Do what I had planned to do that day (no laziness/putting it off)
  3. Make plans for the next day, possibly the week
  4. Clean up after myself (e.g., dishes, taking out trash, etc.)
  5. Help someone/talk to someone.
  6. Get off the internet.
Those are mine.  When I accomplish all six, I feel good about myself.  If I don't, it tends to snowball and I end up feeling worse down the line.  I basically try to improve everyday.  

Saturday, November 5, 2011

[FR] 10/4/11 -- Escalate!

Just got back from a road trip yesterday.  On the trip, there was this cute court reporter.  We had some rapport and I was talking to her.  She lives six hours away, but we were flirting and I should've just gone for the number.  It doesn't matter that I live far away.  I could've had her number, built some rapport, then called her next time I was in town for a possible hookup.  Two lessons: ABG and ABC.  I am succeeding at the first, need to work more on the second.

Set 1 -- The Bartender:  I got off of work late last night.  Didn't feel like going out, but didn't feel like going home either.  I hit the local dive bar.  Ordering my drink, a bartender who opened me a couple of nights ago comes up.  "Why do you look familiar," she says to me.  I tell her she bummed a cigarette from me.  We talk a bit about nonsense and she says, "my husband."  I joke some more with her (she was saying how he steals the cigarettes she hides, I say she's not very good at hiding them), but leave it alone.  Her sister is also a bartender and cute, so I flirt with her a bit, but it's hard.

Set 2 -- The Bitchy Girls:  Outside smoking, some girl comes up.  "Is this the ashtray," she says.  I say, "see the cigarette on the side?"  She says something (I was trying to be CF, but may have missed) and walks inside.  Inside they are ordering drinks next to my spot at the bar.  They are a threeset.  Bartender tells them Kettle One is same price as well and the girl's face lights up.  I say, "That's so cute how your face lights up.  You're so excited.  You just made my night."  I'm trying to enter the group, but it's hard.  They are closed off, in a cliquey type thing, and move off to sit right behind me.  All terrible logistics, so I leave it.  However, I do get from them that they are on a bar crawl for some kickball thing.

Set 3 -- The Good One:  Some gal comes in and orders a drink one seat over from me.  I say something, don't know what, that gets her to sit.  We start talking and get into the topic of cheers'ing.  I think I tell her that cheersing with water is bad luck.  She says it's bad luck not to cheers with eye contact.  I tell her that we'll cheers when she gets her drink.  She does and we go to cheers (over the seat between us).  She spills her drink all over the seat in between and breaks eye contact.  I give her shit and told her she broke eye-contact.  She says we'll cheers again after she cleans it up.  I say, "that's nice of you to clean up.  I respect that."  We cheers again, this time with eye contact.  I make some small-talk rapport-building stuff.  We're talking mostly standard stuff (where you from, etc), but the convo is interesting.  Eventually, we are joined by her three friends (two guys and one girl).  Apparently they are all from the kickball thing.  It's now a group, so I am talking to everyone.  It's fun because I am almost immediately accepted into the group (started talking to the guy closest to me as soon as they walk in) and they stop and listen when I talk.  It's amazing how much I've improved in Social Game.  However, my logistics get all fucked up by the external interrupt, I'm out of money, and I have to go pee.  I pee, then head to the bank without so much as a goodbye.  That was definitely beta and bad behavior.  I should have walked up to the gal I was talking to, said, "listen, I have to go, but I like you and find you really interesting.  Let me get your number so we can hang out."  I did not.  But it's OK!  An AFC makes excuses for why something didn't happen, a player says, "what could I have done better?

Interlude:  Go to the bank, then head to a game store where some of my friends are.  Talk to them, grab one and head back to the bar with an eye towards reopening the set.  However, I have a travel bag with me and they won't let me in.  We head to the bar across the street where I know everyone.  Head to the bar in the back.  Bullshit with the bartender who gives us a deal on the drinks, head to the back and grab a table at the patio.  There was a guy there, but we talk to him and he eventually abandons the table.  One thing to know is that my friend is total AFC and a bit of a dick.  He tells me he's listening to Alpha tapes or something, so I tell him about the natural progression of Choad->Asshole->Alpha Male.  He seems disinterested and skeptical.  Enter set 4.

Set 4 -- The Kuwaiti:   We're sitting talking and this beautiful girl comes up and asks for a light.  See a couple posts back how this is a HUGE IOI.  I give her shit.  I say that I have matches and she can only use ONE, but if she blows it, I won't give her another one.  Some more shittalk and she goes to light it.  She does and I say, "now you have to light mine."  I can't tell you how well I started this set.  After both cigarettes are lit, she walks to the other side of our table, sits and says, "now I'm going to sit down."  OK.  She's with a friend who is doing a little bit of cockblocking.  Unfortunate for me, my wing has no idea what is going on and does not disarm the obstacle.  No excuses, I do it and she eventually bounces, leaving the Kuawait.  Another friend of mine comes over and we are now three dudes and one girl sitting at a table.

Here I made some basic mistakes.  One was that the girl was across from me.  We are vibing, but I should have gone closer.  For instance, when my friend entered the set, I should have offered my seat and moved closer to the babe.  The set ultimately failed because I did not do this and thus could not escalate.  It was too bad too, because she was a really cool and cute girl whom I would've like to got to know.  Another mistake was not listening as much as I should and is something I definitely have to work on.

The set went well for a while.  I am managing external factors, keeping her entertained and my friends are having a good time too, I think.  I am making everyone happy (or trying).  At one point the cockblock comes back and says, "we're leaving."  This is where I get Kuwaiti girl's number, but by now it was too late.

One more note about this night, and it is talking to everyone.  By talking to the bartenders in set one, I immediately got into state from being in a low state.  It carried me to the next set, and that set carried me into the next.  I felt sociable and it showed.  People wanted to be around me.  They could see that I was a valuable male.  Remember to talk to everyone, playa.

Some lessons: 

  • ABC.  It's easy to say, but it means to ESCALATE.  I have GOT to work more on this.  It also means to follow your gut.  Which leads to:
  • Follow your gut.  I heard that, when you think you should kiss a girl (i.e., you start thinking about it), then it's time to kiss the girl.  Something about our reptilian brains picking up the girl's pheromones of her thinking about us in a sexual way.  Sounds new-agey, but I believe it's right.  If it's too hippy for you, remember this: follow your gut.  e.g., the girl from earlier in the day.  There was a point when I thought, "I should get her number."  She was probably thinking, "he should ask for my number."  By not asking, I am being the opposite of a value-giver and make her doubt herself.  Which leads to...
  • Get the number.  Never leave a set with a girl your interested in still in it without having gotten a way to continue the conversation.  You are doing yourself a disservice.  It takes energy and time to open a set, talk to them, create value, and keep them entertained.  Getting contact info is the reward for your investment.  Later, you invest more and get better rewards.

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Text Game

Been working on text game lately.  Because my 100 sets (#closes) have been successful, I've had all these numbers.  Now I need to do something with them.  One girl I was texting for a while after a makeout, but we never got a chance to meetup, so it sort of fell off.  Another girl texted randomly one night to meet her out, but I was too tired.  Subsequent attempts to get her out fell flat.  Another gal keeps inviting me to parties, so there's that.

Recently I've been texting three girls.  Two via gchat and one via phone.  The first gchat girl we'll call "Old Friend" ("OF").  I've known OF since before I was single.  Not sure if there was anything there.  Other than her tig ole bitties, I wasn't that attracted to her.  She's since moved away, but visited last year and we had a very near hookup.  We've been flirting ever since.  It's definitely a long-term-game.  Just pings every few weeks with the usual teasing/build rapport, etc.

Girl two is a gal I met from Social Circle game.  We'll call her "South America" ("SA").  She's been a hard nut to crack.  Part of the problem may be showing interest.  I think I need to show her more.  Recently however, she came out to a birthday celebration I had.  I took this as a sign of attraction and pinged her today via gchat.  "Hey there" got a response ("what's up") at which point I established a convo.  I'm packing tonight, so I'm just going to leave the convo hanging until an opportunity to go out together establishes itself.

The final girl I made out with last Saturday night.  We'll call her "Make Out" ("MO").  We texted some on Sunday, but the logistics weren't right and we couldn't meetup (she lives an hour away).  We made tentative plans for this Saturday, so I pinged her with "HEY!"  LOL, I knw, choady but it got an immediate "hey" response.  We texted back and forth a bit (her always replying fast, me always taking time between texts).  Don't know where to go with it, but just trying to keep the lines of communication open so Saturday Day 2 happens.

That's it, just wanted to get this stuff down.  I'm fairly new to text game.  Hopefully I get better as I get more numbers.

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

10/31/11 FR -- Halloween Salsa

Some nights you go out and everything is working.  Some nights you come home with your dick in your hand.  As a preamble, I DID NOT feel like going out.  But fuck it, it's salsa night, I need the lesson, I've been putting it off, and I should sarge.  I forced myself out.  Couple of thoughts from my night.

Went out to a salsa lesson after work.  Came home, got changed, then went out.  Lesson started at 9:00, but I got there a little early.  As I am walking in out of my car, I see two chicks dressed as referees.  So I open them.  "Hold on, now.  Illegal use of the crosswalk," or some bullshit.  Then we start talking about whistles and I start messing with them.  One is an HB 8 and one an HB 7 with huge bizonkadonks.  Come to find out, they're going to the same place.

I walk in with these two hot girls.  Now it's on.  Apparently there's a $5 cover, but I don't pay.  Once inside, the girls go to order a shot.  I go to the other end of the bar where I see lonely HB8.  I go and open her.  Don't remember what was said.  She was wearing a tie.  We start talking about that.  It's all fucked up, so I take it from her and tie it for her from the back.  Problem is, it's my first time doing that and I suck at it.  So I take it off of her head, put it on my neck, tie it right, hand it back to her.  Order my drink.  Rapport with the bartender ("you've been here before, right?").  Tell the bartender I heard a rumor that you get free champagne on your birthday.  She says no, but you get a free mojito.  I tell her I'll take it, but she says it can't be the one I just ordered.  "OK," I say, "next one."

Salsa Lesson ensues.  Nothing to see here.  I talk to all the girls and establish early rapport.  It's a lot like speed dating (lesson to be found somewhere.  Not sure where).

After salsa, the band comes on.  I find the HB8 ref and ask her if she wants to practice (salsa).  She says yes, so we dance.  After, I find an HB7 asian girl I danced with earlier and dance with her.  Then she bounces me to the hip hop side of the club and we dance with her two friends (HB6s).  It's weird because they're a group, but HB7 is showing me attraction.  I try to dance with all of them.  One of the HB6s bounces me to the other side for more salsa and the friends follow.  But I lose her in the process.

At some point, HB8 in the tie tells me my cigarette smell "smells good."  I tell her I will find her the next time I go out to smoke.  See her later and bounce her to the outside patio area.  We sit and smoke.  Establish rapport (talking about her job, places I've been, difference between CA and east coast).  I should note that when we first got out there, there was a two-seater.  She did not sit down right away.  I did.  Gave her a minute, then said, "sit."  She does.  We talk.  I establish kino (touch her leg, her arm.  I feel like a buffoon as my kino has no real purpose.  I am just touching her to touch her).  At one point, she says she likes the songs that we can hear coming from the hip hop room.  I tell her that we will go in and dance after our cigarettes.  While we are talking, she is constantly looking around.  A mixed two-set comes in and sits next to us.  She opens Wonder Woman (whom I had opened previously) with, "I love your costume."  I establish dominance and start talking to them before bringing it back to her.  She says, "I love this song."  We go dance.

Side note: I am keeping my FR short.  There are so many small interactions that it is hard to report them all.  For instance, we can hear the sounds coming from the hip hop room this whole time.  When we first walk in, a song comes on and she says she loves it.  I am sitting and she is standing.  I say, "Is this song [X]?" (don't remember what it is).  She says "yeah.  How'd you know that?"  Then she takes off her shoes and sits next to me.  If I report every detail, then this will become unweildly.  So if you have questions, need more in depth, ask.

Enter physical game:  We go into the hip hop room.  I take the lead to the middle of the dance floor and start dancing like I don't give a fuck.  She joins me.  It gets physical fast.  I am grabbing her hips.  I grind her.  We are coming together then going apart.  At one point I slap her ass.  Another time I put my arm around her shoulder and onto her chest.  She removes it.  I move my hands on her hips.  At some point I think, "OK, kiss her."  I don't.

It all ends pretty quickly after that.  She says, "Let's go back."  I say, "huh?"  And she says, "well, I'm going back, you can stay."  I say, "let's go."  We walk to the other part of the club and she says, "OK, thanks for the cigarette" and disappears into the crowd.  fml.


  • Salsa lessons are great.
  • If you think you should go for the kiss close, you should.
  • ABC.
  • Get better at physical game

in the hip hop room so I bounce her there.  Enter sexy dancing.  I establish kino early.  We are grinding, my hands are roaming.  I enter physical game, which I am working on.  However, I do not escalate to the kiss.  I get the feeling at one point that we should kiss (I was getting plenty of IOIs, i.e., her not leaving, I smacked her ass and she did not recoil, we were grinding), but I didn't fucking close.

Lessons I've got to become better at physical game.